The gift of pausing before the treadmill accelerates once again.
“I’m just going to take a beat.” I promised myself.
And so I did.
1st April 2025 was Day 1. It’s now Day 29 and I’m still in my ‘beat’, she says with a cheeky smile and a wink.
Boy does this feel fantastmagorically delicious! It’s 9am, I’m typing from my garden in the sunshine, post school run, post workout, post breathwork, yesterday’s pre-baked, homemade frittata, salad and smoothie in the fridge awaiting brunchtime, my phone is still off, emails and notifications untended, Rex (loyal dalmatian) lies serenely next to me, blossom flutters prettily down in the breeze, birdsong tinkles, this is a no make-up, loose cotton dress over bikini, bare feet kind of zone, and breathe….
Last month I hung up my corporate hat after 13 years, achieved my latest book’s best-seller dream, completed my Energy coaching certification, launched The Burnout Business into the world and officially opened my clinic doors.
This month has been about The Pause.
Week 1 I went into hibernation. Slept long, ate bread, didn’t exercise, watched Netflix, didn’t commute anywhere, gave up caffeine.
Week 2, I went to Italy ensconced in an Umbrian writing retreat in a fairytale castle above the clouds. (I didn’t write. I kept sleeping, eating bread and revelling in the breathtakingly magical setting.) Check out this video by clicking the image of the sunrise rainbow one morning. Pure divinity.
Week 3, I reconnected with my garden – chopped and cleared dead wood, weeded, whiled away the hours watching my koi cavort and the fountain trickle, journalling, pensive, still, present.
Week 4, I got celebratory and family focused. Daughter’s 21st, brother’s 36th, Nephew’s 10th, ‘Best-Seller Success’ party, Twin-Time focusing on final GCSE revision schedules and college open days.
And here we are. My body has regrounded back into life at a pace devoid of superfluous adrenaline. I’m still seeing my clients of course, but there’s no outbound sales activity in my schedule, no strategising, no self-enforced deadlines, little long-term proactivity, a lot of floating. I’m embracing what comes in as it arises. Accepting whatever each moment’s Next looks like. Curving with the inevitable daily undulations that 4 kids, 1 dog, 2 businesses and a large, old home bring. Savouring this precious, un-architected life beat.
This all feels very unfamiliar. At times almost a bit scary to admit how much I’m loving the soft pause. Slightly nerve wracking to fear The Me Of Last Month (and indeed the Last 30 Years) Won’t Ever Come Back. I’ve been a little mentally lost here and there and worried about my fresh ability to let the days roll past without the familiarity of a packed agenda. Who is this woman without a multiple-tabbed-workstreams-Excel, without a progress tracker, status updates and a carefully designed vision board? Where has she gone?
But in the cycle of life, as with Nature’s seasons, I know that this is my work winter. And I know with every cell in my body, and blooming bud on all that gorgeous wisteria dangling across the UK right now, Spring is close. I’m suddenly feeling those creative surges beginning anew and a certainty that the bubbly fizz of life’s next chapter is glistening on the horizon. Conversations are starting to excite. New relationships are forming, new opportunities, new ideas, new directions, they’re all beginning to appear. Glimmers of scintillating, unanticipated potentials. Myriad possible directions. Pockets of ‘Mmm, what if this?” or “Ooh, what if that?”. Some surprisingly unforeseen notions popping up. Abundant things that were never previously even considered in The Life Map. It’s so damn interesting here in this chasm.
So, in this moment of No Exact Plan I’m surrendering. Trusting that this is exactly where I’m meant to be right now. Deep in the void, transitioning from one chapter, letting go of what was, spaciously and expansively opening my arms to welcome in the new. Whatever form that takes. Sitting with the discomfort of not knowing the precise plan yet. Following my intuitive impulses. Silencing fear-based swirly ‘shoulds’. Relishing unexpected ‘Oh-this-now-then’s. Focusing on joy, excitement, passion and interest. Flowing with the best vibrational pull of the moment. Finding safety in it. Because I know life’s momentum will absolutely build again. It always does. Spring will bloom into summer and we’ll be off once more. Without question. My new season awaits.
And so, for you. If you’re in a similar winter season right now I invite you to lean into it with courage and assuredness. Embrace the stillness. Allow the pause. Take your beat. There’s a lot of redundancy out there right now. A lot of job insecurity. A lot of economic change, political madness and pressure from all sides. There’s more divorce than ever, loads of unsettling relationship transitions. If you’re momentarily directionless that’s okay.
Take pride in going against the socially normalised current of frenetic forwarding.
Stop. Breathe. Reflect, rejuvenate, relish. “Be Here Now” is a great mantra.
For when we are Here Now, grateful for this very present, we find joy in the ordinary, blessings in the in-between and a gentle certainty that we are okay (whatever the heck else is going on outside).
So, if swirling mental demons are noisy, propelling you up uncomfortably into your head and twizzling you, get back into your body. Take deep, gigantic belly breaths, envisaging a baby’s tummy rising and falling. Do the same for your own beautiful body. Breathe into your very essence. Feel your nervous system settle and soothe yourself back into the safety of your body, of your breath-filled expanding tummy, of this moment, of the right now, knowing you’re okay, you’ve got this. All is well.
Through breath and shifting from mind to body, you’ll allow space for more healthy and soulful energetic flow. More trust in What Is To Come. I promise that the more you physically settle into your body and your own calmness, the more mental and emotional space will appear, expanding to invite in your next season. That’s simply how the Universe flows. Your seasons will continue to roll, winter becoming spring, becoming summer, becoming autumn. That’s truly how it is. You know this.
So please don’t panic if you haven’t written the plan yet, if you’ve lost the map, or don’t feel like even creating the next vision yet. That’s okay. Trust you’re where you’re meant to be right now. Allow yourself serenity in the space. Momentum will inevitably resurge when the time is right. For now, take your beat with heartfelt gusto.
If you, a loved one, or colleague are affected by redundancy, divorce, or similar major life transition, I am offering free consultations in my clinic to embrace the void with love and confidence. Book your slot here any time. Life should be a joy not a struggle. And never forget that You are the star of your own story and absolutely capable of creating all the magic you so desire…
With love,
Bianca x
