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No matter how much we dream of the knight in shining armour whisking us off to the castle to live happily ever after, or the powerful leader who spots our talents and plucks us out of mundane corporate obscurity catapulting us into the dream career opportunity, or the fairy godmother who swooshes away our endless domestic drudgery in one sparkly flick of her glittery wand, no matter how much we dream and wish and want, there is nobody coming. (Not even this surprise photo-bombing Lord a Leaping!)

It’s a common mid-life awakening as this realisation finally sinks in. Knights, rescuers, godmothers, et al, they just don’t exist. We are 100% responsible for creating our own destinies.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first to trust in diving timing, but being in that right place at that right time is a consequence of a gazillion incidences having led to that seemingly fortuitous moment.

Look at your life today and understand that it is entirely a representation of the decisions you’ve made, the choices you’ve leaned into and the influences you’ve trusted. It’s a representation of the work that you have done, the hours you’ve toiled and the focus and effort you’ve applied to the various life realms. (Think wheel of life – health, romance, career, money, spirituality, family, etc.) Your life is a manifestation of what you have done to date. If there’s anything you don’t like as you examine it then it’s up to you to take action to change it. If you’re unhappy in your work, do something else, identify your passions and look at how you could weave more of them into your day to day efforts. If you’re unhappy in your romantic relationship, either improve it or change it. If you’re miserable with your living conditions, tidy up, clean up, redecorate, refresh, move. Choices are abundant (global pandemics permitting) and a suffering, victim mindset serves no one, least of all you. Equally a waiting, wishing, yearning mindset where you hope for a solution in the form of that person, that opportunity, that new path is futile. Yes hope gives us courage and strength to persevere but hope without action is simply wasteful.

The quicker we seize the truth that once childhood dependency on our parents/carers ceases (and please note not everyone had that privilege as a constant in the first place) and we are wholly responsible for our adult lives, for our emotional, mental, physical and intellectual wellbeing, the quicker we leap into a place of potentiality, a place where dreams can indeed be realised.  We hold the power within ourselves to lead the lives we desire. As ever, it’s respecting the power of choices and consequences and how they impact our joy, fulfilment and happiness that is key to the life of your dreams. So, if you’ve clarity of your personal fairytale and know you won’t rest until it’s a reality, don’t wait for magic to happen, create the magic yourself. It’s all without your grasp with the right effort, focus and graft. Miracles can indeed happen but only when you invite them in yourself.

How to stop the struggle & get anything you want

How to stop the struggle & get anything you want

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