I’m sitting typing this from my garden in a sunhat and bikini! Yes BIKINI! (“Hello Skin, gently does it…!”)
These April vibes are deliciously invigorating. Spring has truly sprungen!
I’m fresh from a walk across the Surrey Hills with my smiley Dalmatian and husband-to-be where we immersed into the stunning yellow panorama of rapeseed in bloom and momentarily stepped out of our life chaos. Just for a morning we breathed in the joy of heaven on Earth (well he breathed, I skipped, sang and twirled!), and soaked up the wonder of Nature’s ability to create such beauty. Fields and fields of yellow blooms blanketing the earth. Naturally inspiring and effortlessly healing. Wow.
We needed that. Oh how we needed to ‘take a beat’ as they say. I hope you too have managed to find a pocket of peace across this long weekend.
It’s hard to sustain inner peace right now, isn’t it? Inner worlds, outer worlds, the macro economy, the micro challenges, bits we can control, bits we can’t, news we can’t make sense of, house moves we can’t make, children deranged through social media, societies in freefall, redundancies, bankruptcies, distrust, hate, mess, chaos, grief, worry, fear, and yet 4 astronauts are out there gaining a whole new perspective on our planet and the UK is resplendent under a stunning yellow canopy of heart-warming bouncy floral bliss. So much juxtaposition to fathom.
Today, we’re learning to live with the new reality that the only certainty is uncertainty. And whilst learning to navigate constant change and disruption is what futurists have been teaching us for decades now, it doesn’t make it feel any easier trying to stand on loose personal foundations eg the redundancy, the business, the relationship, the sale, insert whatever challenge you’re facing right now, etc. We are each wobbling in our own ways on rapidly dissolving quicksand.
When life slams constant change our way the instinct tends to be to grip tighter, move faster, and think harder, to try and think your way back into control. But that doesn’t work anymore, and if 2025 taught me anything it’s that there’s no point in having a 5 year plan, no point in a frustration at a decision not yielding immediately, no point in assuming tomorrow we’ll hit the goal, we just cannot control much anymore, but what we can do is control how we meet each moment. Focus in on What Is Here Now.
As Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”
The 4 Ways to Stay Steady
Here are 4 ways I teach my clients, and indeed remind myself, to stay steady atop wobbly foundations.
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Stabilise before you Strategise
When life wobbles, the nervous system reacts before the intellect does. We feel it in the body first – a subtle tightening, a sense of urgency, a need to do something. But any action taken from that place of stress is rarely clean. It is reactive, not considered and thus potentially further inflammatory/dangerous.
Instead, take a conscious and deliberate pause. Don’t put your head in the sand in avoidance, but allow yourself time to recalibrate and shift out of the fight, fright, freeze response. Allow yourself to breathe, to step outside, to walk, to let the body settle before the mind tries to solve. This is so important. We have forgotten how to FEEL properly. Feel into your body and drop out of your head. Breathe…
Clarity is not something that can be forced, it is something that returns when you are grounded enough to receive it. From calm, then perspective widens. From regulation, then better decisions follow. Trust me on this. (For more on stress management see Strategy No. 1: Energy in my book, Big Impact Without Burnout.)
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Separate your identity from your circumstances
This is where so many people unravel. A situation that is simply business or circumstances becomes deeply personal. A delay feels like failure. A shift feels like something has gone wrong. But circumstances are not identity. They are movement. Information. Transition.
Often, what feels like instability is simply a structure loosening its grip because it no longer fits who you are becoming. And when you can meet it in that way, not as something diminishing you, but as something evolving, you regain your footing. The question changes. It is no longer “why is this happening to me?” but “what might this be opening up?”
There is power in that reframe. A return to self that is not dependent on external validation. Try to heed this as adapting to a life of fluidity holds real power. Not victimhood in the circumstances, but rather curiosity. “Okay Life, so we’re going this way are we…?”
Frankl reminds us: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
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Become fiercely intentional with your energy
When things feel uncertain, there is a tendency to overextend. To say yes too quickly. To absorb too much. To try and compensate for instability by doing more.
But energy is not infinite. And in moments like these, it becomes your most valuable currency.
Where you place it matters. So rigorously protect your bio-individual energy rhythms – message me for a free Energyscape map to plot yours.
What strengthens you? What leaves you clearer, calmer, more anchored? And equally, what or who or where drains you, scatters you, pulls you away from your centre?
To notice this, and to act on it, is not indulgent, it is essential. It is the difference between moving through uncertainty with clarity, or becoming consumed by it. Simplification is not a step back. It is a refinement of what truly matters.
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Do not disappear into isolation
There is a subtle narrative that emerges when life feels wobbly – the idea that you must handle it alone. That strength lies in having the answers, in holding everything together, in not needing anyone else. Modern Push Culture encourages this so damn detrimentally. Be the Man, Be the Boss, Sort It Out.
This is wrong.
Steadiness is not built in isolation. It is reinforced in connection.
To speak honestly. To share where you are without needing to resolve it immediately. To allow yourself to be seen in the moment, not just once you have it all figured out. There is something profoundly regulating in that. It brings you back into relationship both with others, and crucially, with yourself.
It reminds you that you are not the only one navigating shifting ground.
There really is healing in community and the old adage of a problem shared being a problem halved.
I had a wax yesterday and the amazing, wonderful, tender therapist who I’ve seen for the past 6 years revealed a traumatic secret to me that she’s been holding tightly onto since January 4th, too ashamed to share with anyone except her immediate family. She’s lost the familiar ground as she knew it and has been operating in isolation trying to keep on keeping on. Bless her and oh my, she is now a welcome soul in my weekly pro bono clinic for hourly sessions as she deserves to be heard and held and to not suffer this tumult alone.
So, as I sit here now, the sun still warm on my skin, I find myself thinking about the quiet certainty of spring itself. It does not rush. It does not force. It unfolds steadily, regardless of what else is happening in the world around it. So, perhaps that is the real lesson. That even when the ground beneath you feels unsteady, there is another ground available – one rooted not in circumstance, but in how you choose to meet it. Because from that place, you do not brace against life, you move with it. Steadily. Gracefully. And with a soft power, a power far more enduring than you realise.
